我該如何保護自己不被言語威脅(三)How can I defend myself from being verbally bullied?
2022-06-10 龜兔賽跑 5089 0 0 收藏 糾錯&舉報
How can I defend myself from being verbally bullied?
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I agree if at first, taking a calm reaction and simply ignoring the doer is a good a tip to avoid more serious problem but if it happens all the time then confronting the doer is must.
I got bullied during junior high school and at first, I let them bullied me and I decided to ignore them in the hope they would let me go but it didn’t stop. So one day I said enough and decided to fight back and it ended the bullying for good.
You want to know how I fight back ? I punched the doer right in his face as he was extorting me at school canteen and we fought like hell while being watched by other students. We both got suspended but after that, they didn’t dare to bully me anymore and I got respect from everyone.
It worked for me to end bullying that happened to me, but again I didn’t promote violence.
Here’s an obxtive way to do it:
(1). Don’t. You’re not on trial, you’re not under the gun, and you don’t have to prove anything to them.
(2). Laugh at them.
PS - “Kick their ass” works if you live in the Stone Age or in the Marvel Comics Universe, where there is no such as assault charges.
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I put up with it, once or twice. After that, I start looking for weaknesses to retaliate with.
I was a supervisor at a retail store, one of the girls who worked for me began to call me “melvin”(apparently she thought that made me sound less than manly).. I put up with it a few times, thought about using my (very little) leverage as her supervisor, then looked for a weakness.She was slightly heavy, but clearly was going to “double in value” before she hit 25. So each time she called me “melvin”, I responded, “OK, chubbs” after the 3rd or 4th time.
I knew nearly all teen girls are sensitive about their weight.
Believe in who you are and just be kind and respectful. You can’t control what they say or do but you can, however, control how you react. Know you are awesome and take whatever anyone says to you that is crude or mean and let it roll over you. They are looking for a reaction from you, all they want is some attention. The worst thing you can do to them is be kind when they are mean.
I can relate to you alot, I was verbally bullied for 18 years of my life. It’s not an easy thing to get through. If I could go back and tell myself something it would be to speak up and say something to the bullies in a calm, stern voice along the lines of “I’m sorry you feel that way but I’m okay.. thanks for asking.” And then walk away.
I can understand why you would feel afraid. Just about anyone would be. I suggest talking to your parents or a trusted adult and let them help you to consider your options and be honest on how you feel about their suggestions they are offering , you don’t want to find yourself in a even more uncomfortable spot then you feel like you are in now.
My son had a similar problem, he was a little guy and very shy. School mates and neighbor hood kids picked and bullied him a lot. As parents, my husband and I didn’t know what to do about it. My son didn’t want us to go to the school and talk to the teacher or principal. Even if we did it wasn’t going to address the bullying that went on outside of school. We had a few options, and the best one we came up with was martial arts. It did the trick. He never had to use it, he never threatened to use it, or boast about taking the classes it just built up his self esteem, he became more confident and less afraid. He felt secure enough to pick friends that cared about him. I am not saying that martial arts is your answer, but what I am saying is there is a solution believe that. You just have to weigh your options with the help of someone you trust.
There was a cartoon, Yu Gi Oh! or The Saman King or something of the sort. Was watching it as a kid and there was this episode when this Shaman didn't want to fight because he didn't believe that his opponents deserved being destroyed or something.
He said, I'm not going to fight you. And they kept insisting and finally attacked him with their Shamans.
All their hits went through him or missed, and his friends wondered how was that possible. Why wasn't he injured? He answered that if he doesn't take it personally, those attacks can't hurt him.
Same applies here. You can be called a fag or ugly and you might be both or neither but in the end what you are called doesn't define. Only your answer to this defines you.
The wisest thing would be to completely ignore the other person.
If you still want to hurt them back try thinking beforehand of something funny to say about them and then say that you're joking.
Or you can say, you know what, I also think that I'm ugly. Or, I don't know, I don't really like boys (or girls) but who knows. I actually have never thought of it.
Rationalize the fuck out of it.
But remember what I said in the beginning, don't get upset. Smile.
有一部動畫片《游戲王》 ！或者《The Saman King》之類的。我小時候看的時候，其中有一集薩滿不想打架，因為他不相信他的對手應該被摧毀或其他什么。
To me, words only have the power to hurt if you don't have the mental discipline to push those words aside. Words lose power when you don't take them to heart.
If you just cannot let it go, as so many of us can't, another approach is to listen to what the verbal bully is saying, and retort using logic and reason. Not to engage in mud slinging, per se, but to respond with disarming rhetoric. No argument exists, that cannot be refuted. I firmly believe this.
So, if you can't ignore it, fight words with an arsenal of your own well considered responses. I've rarely had occasion to do more than speak a few well chosen words, to shut down a bully in mid-rant.
You must deal with the abuse in a strong, definitive way the first time it happens. You could say, I won’t tolerate being talked to in a condesending way. I know you don’t really want to put me down (if this is true) Let’s talk about the issue. You seem angry about something, shall we talk? If it happens again, you can leave the room and not speak to him again unless there is a genuine change of mind. If this is a continuing problem, I would contact a good friend and tell him about the situation and ask him to be your accountability partner to hold the abuser accountable. You could even tell the abuser that you have done this and will continue until he stops. Of course, if there is no change, you must leave him with the notice that you will reconcile with a Counsellor when he’s ready.
I've been verbally abused by my own parents which is so fucked up that they'd speak to their own kid less than an animal. I felt like I was about to go insane at one point. They'd belittle my intelligence and I can't stand when someone insults my looks or intelligence. I'd wished to be removed from the home as a kid and placed with parents that wouldn't verbally or physically abuse me no matter what. I was making good grades and a part of the National Honor Society for crying out loud!! And they insult my intelligence?!! Wtf! Karma will bite them in the ass.
Fight of wits is more important than verbal abuse. Best way of defending is to just ignore them and not get affected. See they’re barking dogs. But if you wish to fight back ( which sometimes you have to!) then with minimal talking show them their standards! that’s it! Nothing’s gonna happen if you sit over it and crib you see? Verbal abuse can be easily ignored. If you get irritated, the other party will irritate you more!
Yes, by ending relationships with them once I realized what they were doing, I prevented later verbal abuse.
In the moment of verbal abuse, I have “observed rather than absorbed” and avoided adding fuel to the fire by remaining silent, but that didn’t necessarily stop it.
I have also left the environment and locked myself in my own car as he continued to verbally abuse me
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There’s always the ever-so-grown-up, “I know you are, but what am I?”
I may do the thundering silence, whilst piercing the abuser with my basilisk stare.
I may burst out laughing, if their effort was lame.
If, reviewing the circumstances, I can honestly believe that I fed into that person’s anger, I may apologize for MY part of what happened.
Getting to the bottom line: I won’t tolerate abuse. If this is a person I must deal with on an on-going basis, I will be communicating with them only in writing. And I will document, document, document.
If this abusive person is part of a family or social circle, I will not be spending time with them. I may be remotely polite if forced to speak. I will not be unpleasant unless the abuser repeats this behavior.
I will call them out, I will ostracize them, and if the comment is slanderous, I will file charges.
more correctly, i dont seem to attract all that many. i dont really know why that is but heres my guess.
for one, ive had more than a few incidents that suggest that i look like law enforcement. they dont all look the same so i dont know why. when younger more like a big charles manson. i think that letting off steam by venting it on random victims thus looks enough like a bad idea that i dont see it in the general public.
at work i always establish that i am who to come see for the things i do, and i leave the things that u dont do alone. theres occasionally some asshole at a new job who wants to accomplish i dont know what by showing me up. i ignore it until it interferes with something and then i have the talk. the talk that clearly demonstrates that if i was elected to do the thing that brought your act on, then you can bet your ass i understand it clearly before i do any of it, and just exactly how wise you would be to have an argument with me over it in private before in public.
those attacks happen once every 10 years
one other happens about once every two years. me and the vp. his age is more apparent in his thinking than mine. so he is more often sure he asked me in writing the thing that neither of us can find a record of. being vpish he yells some. i get what the problem is, and so it passes with an apology the next day.
this brings to mind the apparent calling out fad we have going. if i judge by you tube, which may be a bad idea, this can look like an attack on someone who is wondering what is going on and be by more than one person. i think that the few i have seen didnt defend themselves because they were totally unprepared.
it is possible that they did something to provoke the attack without realizing it. i can see that kind of person, the minding his own business and not realizing that this was a thing, could percieve the need to defend. like this question suggests.
im saying here that you might see a need to get this answered because you are often in an environment where its easy for this to happen and you havent thought through how to manage it, which includes a brief review of what your stance is with respect to the issues that precipitate it and what you are going to do if it happens.
i am aware of this stuff. so, using this as an example, i am as prepared as i can be to handle such a thing. which will guarantee that, if it happens, it wont happen again.
Set your boundaries, and do not be afraid to defend them. Also, remember, even if you are a paraplegic quadriplegic, you have the ability as well as the freedom to remove yourself from where bullying is happening. You have the freedom, prerogative and responsibility to stand up for and defend yourself against bullying, and you have the freedom, prerogative and responsibilty to reach and seek out help and support. You have the freedom, prerogative and responsibility to check yourself to ensure whatever bullying you personally experience(d) goes no further. The cycle ends with you. The bullying stops with you.
If you were a grownup and knew who you are and who you are not, no one would bully you, one way or another.
Grownups don’t put up with being bullied; they put them in their place, which is at the curb.
Grownups don’t give their permission to bullies to bully them or hurt them in any way; no one can hurt you without your permission.
Stand on your own two feet, instead of cowering like a child. You do not need to be mean about it; you just tell the bullier that you know what they are doing, that you will not accept it for one more second, and if the do, they’re finished = GET OUT!
Do you really need to be hurt all the time? NO! So stop putting up with it.
Just say NO!
Do what ever you have to, to make the Bully Realize you will Fight them. Who cares if you get suspended or punished.
Smash their head into a desk, break their jaw, take the heaviest book you can find and smash their head with it. Dump an entire WET Lunch over their head or in their lap. Scream at the top you your lungs so everyone is looking at you and the Bully and Repeat everything they just said
The Only Thing Necessary for the Triumph of Evil is that Good Men Do Nothing
The only thing that STOPS a BULLY is GROUP FORCE. Use any weapon you can to fight the B17CH./B@$T@RD that you have to.
Physical Bullying, the pain goes away as you can’t remember physical Pain, but Verbal Abuse, Humiliation will live with you your whole life. Verbally Abused Wives have killed their husbands for the abuse they suffered for years.
Silence is more threatening than trash talk.
Make note (or record) what they say to you, and tell them to stop.
Once and only once - make sure to make it clear. After you tell them to stop, ask if they understand. Once you’re sure they understand, stop talking to them.
Make notes about what they’re doing, for use in the investigation - you’re gathering proof and a pattern of behavior that the authorities might use to convict them if anything ever happens to you.