我該如何保護自己不被言語威脅(二)

Patrick Brown, Introvert

帕特里克·布朗,內向

First, be sure he’s actually bullying you. He might be teasing you. Bullying is intended to hurt, to exclude, to elevate the bully in the social pecking order at your expense. Teasing is meant to include you in the group, with everybody in on the joke. You only tease people you like. But some kids aren’t very good at teasing, and some kids - I was one - aren’t good at telling when they’re being teased.
So, consider the possibility that you’re being teased, and tease back. and the two of you will be friends.
And if he is bullying you, tell him to fuck off. Don’t listen to those who tell you to ignore him. Stand up to him.

首先，確保他真的在欺凌你。他可能在戲弄你。欺凌的目的是傷害、排斥、以犧牲你的利益來提升霸凌者的社會地位。取笑是為了讓你加入這個群體，讓每個人都參與到這個玩笑中來。你只會戲弄你喜歡的人。但有些孩子不太擅長開玩笑，而有些孩子——我就是其中一個——被嘲笑的時候不擅長區分他們。
所以，考慮一下你被嘲笑的可能性，然后嘲笑對方,你們倆就會成為朋友。
如果他欺負你，告訴他滾開。不要聽那些叫你忽視他的人的話。勇敢地面對他。

Ranjith Reddy, Got bullied for 6 long years!

Ranjith Reddy，被欺負了6年!

Verbal bullying rallies around only one point or at max two or three. When you accept these two or three things about you in a way that you feel they are part of you then it doesn't matter. It strips those bullies of their power and transfers it to you.
There was a friend of mine, who was fat and every time I called him fat he would respond "don't be jealous because I am handsome! It's a gift" I stopped calling him fat a long time ago and so did my friends.
Verbal bullying can hurt to an extent where it can provoke suicide thoughts. Just make sure that you remember that you hold the power to choose which way it turns out. One which will lead you to be the owner of your own life. The other leads to misery and discomfort. Choose wisely.

言語霸凌僅圍繞一個點或最多兩到三個點。當你接受了關于你的這兩到三件事，你覺得它們是你的一部分，那么這就不重要了。它剝奪了那些惡棍的權力，把它轉移到你身上。
我有一個朋友，他很胖，每次我說他胖，他都會回答：“不要嫉妒，因為我很帥！這是一份禮物?！蔽液芫靡郧熬筒辉俳兴肿恿?，我的朋友們也是。
言語霸凌會在一定程度上造成傷害，從而讓人引發自殺念頭。只要確保你記住，你擁有選擇結果的權力。這將引導你成為自己生活的主人。另一種會導致痛苦和不適。明智地選擇。

Mike E. King, PhD in psychology, 20+ years working with abused and abusers.

Mike E. King, 心理學博士，20多年研究虐待者和施虐者。

Avoid it. walk away or run if you have to. If you’re at home and it’s a parent, turn them off by remaining silent. Your stoicism will send a message that you’re above the fray. Take in deep breaths, while counting to ten. Let the breaths out while counting to ten.
This will baffle your opponent and keep your own anger in check. Remember, you don’t have to stand and take unwarranted abuse. The one response that is most satisfactory to abusers is to get you angry or to get you to respond in some way.
Practice deep breathing and take control of the situation. It takes practice but it’s a great feeling when you become the one in control while they are blasting away, uselessly. You’re above it all, detached and nonplused.

避免它。如果有必要，走開或者逃跑。如果你在家，對方是父母，那就保持沉默，讓他們閉嘴。你的斯多葛主義會傳遞出一個信息，那就是你是超然的。深呼吸，數到十。數到十時的同時呼氣。
這將使你的對手感到困惑，并控制住自己的憤怒。記住，你沒必要站著接受無理的辱罵。虐待者最滿意的反應是讓你生氣或以某種方式回應。
練習深呼吸，控制局面。這需要練習，但當他們在徒勞地噴擊時，你卻成為掌控者，這是一種很好的感覺。你超乎一切，超然而茫然。

Mary McCall, Engineering Tech Civil Engineering Firm

Mary McCall，工程技術土木工程公司

“How do you defend yourself from aggressive verbal abuse?”
It depends on where it’s coming from.
A lover: “K. Thank you for expressing your feelings. You can go now.” The end.
My son: “You know, I don’t have to continue to support you. You’re welcome to behave like an adult or pack your things and go. You have 30 minutes to apologize or get out.”
A supervisor at a job I’m no longer at: “Right.” And then I turned around and walked out of the room.
Unless you depend on an abusive person for housing and/or financial support, just turn around and walk away. If you are dependent on that person, make a plan, pack your things and leave.
There’s no excuse. You don’t “make” someone yell at you. You don’t “deserve” to be yelled at. Yelling back won’t solve the problem. Therapy might help, but the best thing to do is leave and don’t give that person another chance to abuse you.

“你如何保護自己免受攻擊性言語虐待？”
這取決于它來自哪里。
情人：“K，謝謝你表達你的感受。你現在可以走了?！备星榻Y束。
我兒子：“你知道，我不必繼續支持你。歡迎你像成年人一樣行事，或者收拾好你的東西離開。你有30分鐘的時間來道歉或者離開?！?br /> 我不再從事的工作的主管：“對?！比缓笪肄D過身走出房間。
除非你依靠一個虐待你的人來獲得住房和/或經濟支持，否則就轉身走開。如果你依賴那個人，制定一個計劃，收拾好你的東西然后離開。
沒有任何借口。你不要讓別人對你大喊大叫。你“不配”被罵。大喊大叫并不能解決問題。治療可能會有幫助，但最好的辦法是離開，不要再給那個人虐待你的機會。

Lee-Ann Fargher-Knowles, Spiritual & Relational Coach (2011-present)

Lee-Ann Fargher-Knowles，精神與關系教練(2011-至今)

Good for you.
Well, self-awareness is like 85% of the solution so you’re already most of the way there.
Let me ask you a question - think of the most annoying person you know who REALLY triggers you in this particular way with whom you find yourself doing this without even thinking about it…
What if God (or whomever you believe in) told you categorically that the truth is: that person was doing the very best they could - how would that change things?*
What if I told you that you too are doing the best YOU can right now and it’s ok to be in that place, AND who you are right now is awesome anyway?
What if I told you that JUST that little shift that you’ve made in your mind about how you behave is going to change EVERYTHING and you’re not going to be the same person anymore and you no longer have to be enslaved by perfection and pressure to be the best all the time?
Intention is POWERFUL! Instead of focussing on NOT nagging or stressing yourself and everyone else out, instead, INVEST in the relationships and connections that have had to bear the brunt of the negativity that you’ve been planting. Go weed that stuff out and nurture them a bit and you’ll see it’s made ALL the difference when you start reaping the success, creativity, joy & delight instead.
*further discussion of my beliefs & viewpoints is welcome

對你有好處。
好吧，自我意識占了解決方案的85%所以你已經完成了大部分。
讓我問你一個問題——想想你認識的最令人討厭的人，他們真的會讓你產生這種特殊的感覺，你會發現自己在想都沒想的情況下就這么做了。
如果上帝（或你信仰的人）斷然告訴你真相是：那個人盡了最大努力，那會怎樣改變事情？
如果我告訴你，你現在也在盡你所能做到最好，處于那種狀態很好，不管怎樣，你現在的樣子是很棒的。
如果我告訴你，你對自己的行為方式做出的一個小小的改變就會改變一切呢，你不再是同一個人，你不再不得不被完美和壓力所奴役，永遠要成為最好的人。
意念是強大的！與其專注于不要嘮叨或給自己和其他人施加壓力，不如投資于那些承受了你種植的負面情緒沖擊的人際關系和聯系。把那些東西清除出去，培養它們，當你開始收獲成功、創造力、快樂和喜悅時，你會發現一切都不同了。
歡迎進一步討論我的信仰和觀點

M.P. Remoto, Network Engineer at IOpex Technologies (2019-present)
Don't condescend to their level. Don't be afraid. Demoralize the bully.
Some of my teammates at work were bullying me when I was new. I allowed them. I also laughed about myself when they did. Until their bullying became humiliating and habitual.
I learned to fight. Not physically but by words. I throw their words back at them, and it was effective. Most of the time, bullies do bully to conceal themselves for their iniquities. So their words fit them better.
Throw their words back at them just to demoralize them, and you'll see significant results. In my case, they still bullied me after that but there was reluctance in their bullying. And as time went that when they bully, I throw it back at them, the bullying massively decreased.
Time came when bullying was gone, and became pure joke times, and laugh moments.
Best wishes.

不要屈尊于他們的層次。不要害怕，挫敗霸凌者的士氣。
我剛來的時候，一些同事欺負我。我允許他們。當他們這樣做的時候，我也自嘲，最后他們的欺凌變得羞辱和習慣。
我學會了戰斗。不是身體上的，而是語言上的。我把他們的話回擊了他們，這是有效的。大多數情況下，恃強凌弱者是為了掩飾自己的惡行。所以他們的話更適合他們。
把他們的話扔回去只是為了讓他們泄氣，你會看到顯著的結果。在我身上，他們在那之后仍然欺負我，但他們的欺負是不情愿的。隨著時間的推移，當他們欺負我時，我把它扔給他們，欺負行為大大減少了。
欺凌行為消失后，變成了純粹的玩笑時間和歡笑時刻。
祝一切順利。

Lionel Loquias, xR Engineer, Experimental Psychologist, Martial Artist

Lionel Loquias, xR工程師，實驗心理學家，武術家

Humor. Lots of self-deprecating sarcastic humor.
I like taking something they meant to hurt me and totally roll with it but make it funnier than they did. This is especially so if you're in front of people. Basically add a healthy dose of sarcasm to your self-deprecating counter. If you're also quite adept in mimicking physical behaviors and doing impressions like I am, it adds an extra dimension to the humor that they often can't compete with.
This is effective for me because it also places the person into the situation that people are afraid of more than death: public speaking. The number one fear of the general population. I am unafraid of being in front of a group no matter how big or small. By being funny using sarcastic self-deprecating humor you not only nullify their insults but you place them in a situation that they are more than likely terrified of. Bullies don't like to be perceived as scared. They are bullies because they want to hide their fear.

幽默：大量自嘲性質的諷刺幽默。
我喜歡拿一些他們想傷害我的東西，完全接受，讓它比他們造成的影響更有趣。如果你站在人們面前，情況尤其如此?；旧暇褪窃谀愕淖猿爸屑尤脒m量的諷刺。如果你也很擅長模仿身體行為，并像我一樣給人留下深刻印象，那么這會為幽默增加額外的維度，這往往是他們無法比擬的。
這對我來說很有效，它還把人置于比死亡更讓人害怕的境地：公開演講—這是普通民眾最為恐懼的事情。無論其人群規模大或者小，我都不怕站在一群人面前。通過使用諷刺性的自嘲幽默，不僅要讓他們的侮辱無效，還可以將他們置于一種他們非常害怕的境地。惡霸不喜歡讓人覺得他們自己害怕。因為他們是欺凌者，他們想隱藏自己的恐懼。

David Howe, works at University of Minnesota

David Howe就職于明尼蘇達大學

It has taken me a lifetime to learn this. Don't respond to verbal abuse. Be silent or leave if possible.
If you feel safe, simply tell the abuser to stop yelling/swearing/insulting you.
No one has any right to abuse you no matter what.

我花了一輩子的時間才學會這一點，不要對辱罵做出回應。保持沉默，或者盡可能離開。
如果你覺得安全，簡單地告訴施暴者停止叫喊/咒罵/侮辱你。
不管怎樣，任何人都無權虐待你。

Tiffany Parkinson, Registered Nurse (2003-present)

蒂芙尼·帕金森，注冊護士(2003年至今)

Not sure if you are asking how to deal with it or why. I don't think there is a way to "deal with" verbal abuse. Only the person knows how much they are willing to put up with. In my case, it was several men and bad relationships. Each one did it in their own way. Verbal abuse, mental abuse, physical abuse...they all take a toll on you emotionally and mentally. It wears you down, it makes you feel inferior, weak and worthless. People from the outside can't possibly understand it because they are strong, confident and have a good sense of self and are grounded. But if you are with one guy that tells you they love you more than anything, that you are their world and to trust them...and then they make you feel like garbage or poop on the bottom of their shoe because of something you say or do or because you are wanting just basic love back, you start to question if you really are worth nothing etc.

不確定你是在問如何處理或者為什么。我認為沒有辦法“處理”言語虐待。只有自己才知道自己愿意忍受到什么程度。對我來說，是好幾個男人和糟糕的關系。每個人都以自己的方式做這件事。言語虐待、精神虐待、身體虐待，它們都會在情感和精神上給你帶來損失。它讓你疲憊不堪，讓你感到自卑、軟弱，讓莫感覺自己毫無價值。外界的人不可能理解這一點，因為他們堅強、自信、有良好的自我意識，而且腳踏實地。但如果你和一個說愛你勝過一切的男人在一起，你就是他們的世界，要相信他們。然后他們會因為你說的話、做的事，或者因為你想要得到最基本的愛，而讓你覺得自己是他們鞋底的垃圾或便便，你開始質疑你是否真的一文不值等等。

Abby Thompson, works at Grateful Heart Holistic Therapy Center
It's all about setting boundaries, before, during, or after an incident.
If you are in an ongoing relationship in which verbal abuse happens, your first priority, of course, is to get out. Verbal abuse is still abuse, and there are local foundations that can help. They often operate hotlines, so if you are unsure, you can simply call to find out about your next step. La Casa de las Madres is local where I am, and is a great example of a place to get help with abusive relationships.
If your situation is more benign and you can't get away- say, you're working in customer service- you still don't need to take it. Politely and respectfully respond with clear instructions, such as "Do not raise your voice at me" or "I understand your concerns, but there is no reason to behave this way." Using the word "please" or smiling are not necessary. A firm tone of voice and solid body language is.
I know very little about your situation, but I hope that you really take in that you don't deserve verbal abuse of any kind, and seek help if necessary to protect yourself from it.

這一切都是關于在事件之前、期間或之后設定邊界。
如果你正處于一段不斷發生言語虐待的關系中，那么你的首要任務當然是離開。言語虐待仍然屬于虐待，當地的一些基金會可以提供幫助。他們經常開通熱線，所以如果你不確定，你可以簡單地打電話問問下一步該怎么做。La Casa de las Madres是我所在的地方，是一個很好的例子，可以在虐待關系中獲得幫助。
如果你的情況比較好，你無法脫身——比如，你在客戶服務部門工作——你仍然不需要接受它。禮貌、尊重地回應并給出明確的指示，如“不要對我大聲嚷嚷”或“我理解你的擔憂，但沒有理由這樣做?！睕]有必要使用“請”或微笑。堅定的語氣和堅定的肢體語言就可以。
我對你的情況知之甚少，但我希望你真的明白，你不應該受到任何形式的言語虐待，如果有必要，尋求幫助以保護自己免受虐待。

Amelia Gray, BA in Psychology University of Pudget Sound & Child Care, Tacoma Community College (2015)

阿米莉亞·格雷，帕吉特聲音與兒童護理大學心理學學士，塔科馬社區學院(2015)

That's not true.
Your truth has to be based on merit or something subjective. While what you described was up for interpretation. Meaning, your “truth” was like a form of perception that came across abusively.
That is a nagging attitude. Personally i would have used the term “micromanaging” but thats just me. Sometimes i can be a micromanager. Just try to step away from the things that stress you out instead of appouching them or bugging someone else to help for a little while till of course it needs to get done or you feel your more relaxed when addressing something.

那不是真的。
你的真理必須基于價值或主觀的東西。而你所描述的則有待解釋。意思是，你的"真相"就像是一種被濫用的認知形式。
這是一種嘮叨的態度。就我個人而言，我會用“微觀管理”這個詞，但這只是我個人的說法。有時我是一個事無巨細的管理者。只是試著遠離那些讓你感到壓力的事情，而不是去觸碰它們或麻煩別人幫助你一段時間，直到它需要完成或你在處理一些事情時感到更放松。

Karien Vorster, former IT Recruitment Consultant

Karien Vorster，前IT招聘顧問

Depends where the verbal abuse comes from.
If its a spouse, steps need to be taken to deal with this, as verbal abuse is very destructive in any relationship.
If it comes from a friend, family member, person you work with etc, I find the best way to deal with these abusers - are not to engage and if possible - least possible amount of contact.
I find that a lot of verbal abusers have certain personality traits. Usually (but not always) very self centered, selfish and entitled. Also unable to take blame or responsibility. Best way to deal with such people is to either cut them out of your life..

取決于辱罵的來源。
如果是配偶，就需要采取措施來處理這一問題，因為言語虐待在任何關系中都是極具破壞性的。
如果來自朋友、家人、同事等，我發現對付這些虐待者的最好方法是不要接觸，如果可能的話，盡量少接觸。
我發現很多言語虐待者都有一定的性格特征。通常（但并非總是）非常以自我為中心、自私和有權利。也無法承擔責任。對付這種人最好的辦法就是把他們從你的生活中趕出去。

S. M. Henderson, Philosopher, Musician, Game Master, Martial Artist & Ginger
There is one fantastic method that I have implemented which works very well. It is a secret arcane martial art technique handed down through generations. Now I pass it on to you.
When confronted with someone who is verbally attacking you, insulting you, trying to provoke you… simply hold your arms out in front of you in an "X" and proclaim, "Cancel!"
The verbal attack is instantaneously stopped in midair before it makes impact on you. The projectile of their foul, provocative words never reaches you. It is cancelled, and dexed from existence. Permanently. Your sense of self worth is left completely unscathed.
Another technique is, "Reflect!" where you hold your arm vertically like you are holding a mirror, and turn 45 degrees to someone else nearby. This reflects the attack off of you and it instead is sent towards some other poor fool standing beside you. All of the insults and verbal attacks are reflected onto them instead, leaving your ego unscathed!
It sounds ridiculous and childish. But hopefully you will realize, by performing these techniques, just how much your offense and outrage is all in your imagination. When you interpret their insulting words as something being launched at you like a projectile, which can be blocked and deflected, or dexed from existence, you will be perfectly unharmed and your ego will prosper.

我已經實現了一個非常好的方法。這是一種世世代代流傳下來的秘密秘術?，F在我把它傳給你。
當面對一個口頭攻擊你、侮辱你、試圖激怒你的人時，只需伸出你的手臂，打個“X”，然后宣布“停止！”
言語攻擊會在半空中瞬間停止，然后對你產生影響。你永遠也不會聽到他們那骯臟、挑釁的話。它被停止，并從存在中刪除。你的自我價值感完全沒有受到傷害。
另一個技巧是“反射!”，你要像拿著鏡子一樣垂直地舉起手臂，然后向附近的其他人轉過45度。這反映了對你在攻擊，相反，它會被送到站在你身邊的另一個可憐的傻瓜那里。所有的侮辱和言語攻擊都反映在他們身上，而你的自尊卻毫發無損！
這聽起來既可笑又幼稚。但希望你會意識到，通過這些技巧，你的冒犯和憤怒只是你的想象。當你把他們侮辱性的話語理解為像炮彈一樣向你發射的東西，它可以被阻擋和偏轉，或者從存在中刪除，你將完全不受傷害，你的自我意識也會增強。

Juan Espinosa, President at Connex Puerto Rico (2010-present)
It would be easy to suggest getting away from verbal abusers but that is not always possible. Assuming that is the case, do your homework. Verbal abusers are predictable. Study how to respond effectively to the verbal abuser and be ready for your next encounter. You might be surprised as how easy pushing back can stop a verbal abuser.
But beware, verbal abusers can become physical abusers in no time. You don’t have to take verbal abuse at all.

建議遠離言語虐待者很容易，但這并不總是可能的。如果是這樣的話，那就做好準備工作吧。言語施暴者是可以預見的。學習如何有效地回應辱罵者，并為下次遇到他們做好準備。你可能會驚訝于反駁是多么容易就能阻止一個言語施暴者。
但要小心，言語虐待者很快就會變成身體虐待者。你根本不必接受言語霸凌。

Keith Nagata, Mortician, Funeral Director, Operations Mgr.
Bullies are just insecure people. They have to put others down to help make themselves feel better about themselves. It is a sad and potentially dangerous situation for a bully and their targets. As long as a bully doesn’t make physical contact with you, your only defense is to walk away and not engage with them. They desire attention, negative or positive. If you engage with them, they are getting reinforcement for their bullying. If you are feeling adventurous, you can try to find out about their life and figure out the underlying reason they bully and try to help them. They will have a sad and depressing life unless they change their ways.

霸凌者都是沒有安全感的人。他們不得不貶低別人來幫助自己感覺更好。對于一個惡霸及其目標來說，這是一個可悲且潛在危險的局面。只要霸凌者不與你發生身體接觸，你唯一的防御就是走開，不要與他們接觸。他們渴望得到關注，無論是消極的還是積極的。如果你與他們接觸，他們的欺凌行為就會得到加強。如果你有冒險精神，你可以試著了解他們的生活，找出他們欺凌的根本原因，并嘗試幫助他們。除非他們改變他們的生活方式，否則他們將會有一個悲傷和沮喪的生活。
原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.mmg13444.com 轉載請注明出處

KC Trae Becker, Substitute Teacher at ESS Global (2021-present)
I suggest you try these responses in order. Each new step is harder and less likely to succeed.
Ignore them if you can. Many bullies feed off of attention. Stone cold stares when face to face or deleting cyber bullying can often be enough to end the situation.
Get help if you can. Reporting bullying can sometimes stop a terrible habit of bullying from developing. Or gathering allies can make the bully realize they don’t have as much power as they think they do.
Try to give a kind, calm, rational answer. Not every bully realizes they are bullying . Some people will actually appreciate being rescued from their anger or fear that drives them to their bullying behavior.
If all else fails, you can try to turn the tables on a bully and out bully them by being more verbally abusive than they are. Sometimes it makes a person take notice of their behavior and reexamine it. Sometimes it intimidates a bully. Be careful though, this has serious possible side effects. a. You may develop your own habit of bullying. b. You may experience strong, lasting guilt over what you say. c. Sometimes confrontation will push verbal bullying to the next level and the abuse may become physical instead.

我建議你依次嘗試這些辦法。每一步都更困難，成功的可能性也更小。
如果可以，請忽略它們。許多惡霸靠別人的關注為生。面對面時冰冷的眼神或刪除網絡霸凌往往足以結束這種局面。
如果可以，請尋求幫助。報告欺凌行為有時可以阻止可怕的欺凌習慣變強?；蛘呔奂擞芽梢宰屍哿枵咭庾R到，他們沒有自己認為的那么大的權力。
試著給出一個友善、冷靜、理性的回答。并不是每個霸凌者都意識到他們在霸凌人。事實上，有些人會感激被人從憤怒或恐懼中解救出來，這些憤怒或恐懼驅使他們做出欺凌行為。
如果所有這些都失敗了，你可以試著扭轉局面，用比他們更嚴厲的語言來欺負他們。有時它會讓一個人注意到自己的行為并重新審視它。有時它會嚇唬霸凌者。但要小心，這可能會有嚴重的副作用。a、 你可能會養成自己欺凌他人的習慣。b、你可能會對你說的話感到強烈而持久的內疚。c、 有時，對抗會將言語欺凌推向下一個層次，而虐待可能會變成身體上的。
原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.mmg13444.com 轉載請注明出處

Alexis Sanchez, lives in North Carolina
I agree with Mary, however, I’d like to add that if you cannot get out of the verbally abusive situation, then the best thing you can do for yourself while you wait it out is limit the abuse, and remember that you MUST stay strong. You can limit the abuse by answering short, simple, and “correctly”. This gets the abuse over with, and doesn’t give the abuser anything in your words to pick out and torment you about. I know it sounds brutal, and even a dire measure, but it gives you time to write things down, and know what you know in between stages two and three. Writing things down if you can, and going over events in your head can keep you from being brainwashed. Also, if you limit the time you’re around the abuser (say you get an extra credit project), then it gives less time for them to abuse you. (Abuse isn’t just the incident, those snide comments hurt). Another way to stay strong is to confide in someone who can really trust. Just stay strong, and remember one of these days, you’re going to laugh out loud at them trying to tell you who you are.

然而，我同意瑪麗的觀點，我想補充一點，如果你無法擺脫言語虐待的局面，那么在等待結束的過程中，你能為自己做的最好的事情就是限制虐待，記住你必須保持堅強。你可以通過簡短、簡單和“正確”的回答來限制這種濫用。這樣可以讓虐待結束，也不會讓施暴者從你的言語中挑出任何東西來折磨你。我知道這聽起來很殘酷，甚至是一個可怕的措施，但它讓你有時間把事情寫下來，在第二階段和第三階段之間了解你所知道的。如果可以的話，把事情寫下來，在腦海中回想這些事情可以讓你不被洗腦。此外，如果你限制了與施虐者相處的時間（假設你得到了一個額外的學分項目），那么他們虐待你的時間就會減少。（虐待造成的影響不僅僅是事件，而且那些刻薄的評論很傷人）。另一種保持堅強的方法是向真正可以信任的人傾訴。堅強點，記住總有一天，當他們試圖告訴你你是誰時，你會笑出聲來。