你知道最愚蠢的被解雇原因是什么？
What is the silliest reason you know for somebody being sacked from the place you work at
譯文簡介
不算愚蠢，但很瘋狂，我曾有個同事，她騙她朋友說她是高級經理，然后給那個朋友一份不存在的工作。她甚至給了那個朋友一份虛假的家庭工作合同，和一臺從IT櫥柜里偷來的筆記本電腦，讓那個朋友替她完成工作。她還讓那個朋友開車送她去“開會”。
正文翻譯
stansbo
Not so much silly as batshit crazy, but I worked with someone who lied to her friend that she was a senior manager and then gave that friend a job that didn’t exist. She even gave her a fake home worker contract and a laptop she had nicked from the IT cupboard so she could send her own work to her to complete. She also had her driving her to “meetings”.
It all came out when the friend didn’t get paid and her dad stormed into the office asking why we hadn’t paid his daughter, who we had never heard of! The fantasist was obviously sacked and the police called with fraud charges pressed I believe.
Never heard of anything so crazy, did she think she’d get away with it?!
不算愚蠢，但很瘋狂，我曾有個同事，她騙她朋友說她是高級經理，然后給那個朋友一份不存在的工作。她甚至給了那個朋友一份虛假的家庭工作合同，和一臺從IT櫥柜里偷來的筆記本電腦，讓那個朋友替她完成工作。她還讓那個朋友開車送她去“開會”。
那個朋友沒有得到報酬，當她爸爸沖進辦公室問我們為什么不給他女兒工資時，事情暴露了，我們根本沒有聽說過他女兒！這位吹牛大王顯然被解雇了，我相信警方也提起了詐騙指控。
從沒聽說過這么瘋狂的事，她以為自己能逃脫懲罰嗎？!
原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.mmg13444.com 轉載請注明出處
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These kinds of people don't think
這種人可不這么認為
One of the firms I’ve worked at in the past was a large manufacturing site. There were a team of 3 girls who were ‘tag teaming’ each other - one of them would come in each day, clock the other 2 in so they all worked about 2 days a week but were paid full time.
Another site I worked at was undergoing major remediation / expansion work. At the weekends when supervision was light we had contract firms coming in, signing 10-15 people ‘in’ when there was only one person in the van.
In Both cases they got caught out when a fire alarm went off and nobody could find the people supposed to be on site. Both sites were heavy industry with various chemicals on site that you don’t want to be anywhere near if they are burning. So cue the fire brigade having to don full protection and breathing gear to go find them.
The girls fessed up and were all fired. Turns out quite a few people knew what they were doing and had reported their suspicions, but nothing had been done. The whole log in & out process at that site was totally overhauled and caught a few more people Out.
As for the contractors - that was a police investigation and a settlement that ran to millions.
我曾在一家大型制造廠工作過。其中有一個由3個女孩組成的團隊，她們互相幫忙打卡——一個人來上班，另兩個打卡，所以她們每周工作2天，但領全職工資。
我曾工作的另一家公司那時候正在修復、擴建。在周末監管不嚴的時候，承包公司來一個人卻簽到10-15人。
這兩個例子被發現時都被抓了，本應該有人的崗位都沒人。這兩個崗位都是重工業，有各種各樣的化學品，在它們燃燒時，你根本就不想靠近它們。所以消防隊員必須穿上全套防護服和呼吸裝備去找他們。
女孩們坦白了，然后都被解雇了。其實很多人知道他們在做什么，還把他們的懷疑報告給上面，但什么動靜也沒有。這些公司的打卡程序被徹底檢查，還抓到了更多的人。
至于承包商，警方調查后他們花了幾百萬進行和解。
Don't blame them, honestly. If the systems are flawed enough/workload little enough that you can work 2 days a week and get paid full time without your slacking being noticed, might aswell.
老實說，我不怪他們。如果系統有很多缺陷、或者工作量很小一周工作2天就足夠，并獲得全職工資而不被發現，這也是可以的。
I got fired for sending a pair of sexy pants (panties for Americans), to my then boyfriend using company postage. Someone in the mail room spotted it wasn’t the same size as all the other letters, opened it, read the cheeky message and told the boss. It was a crap job anyway. “Then boyfriend” and I have been happily married for twenty years, still makes us laugh. Never did get the knickers back though….
我用公司郵資給我當時的男朋友寄了一條性感內褲而被解雇。收發室的人發現這封信和其他信的大小不一樣，然后打開它，讀了這封語言放肆的信，然后告訴了老板。那是一份糟糕的工作?！爱敃r的男朋友”和我結婚二十年了，想起這件事還是讓我們發笑。但是我沒能把內褲拿回來。
I used to work for a company that employed loads of temporary workers over the summer. Well one day one of the managers discovered that two of the workers had been using the internal messaging system to talk a lot of shit about one of the other temps. Like as in 100's of messages slagging this girl off. I didn't know the girl too well, but from what I remember she was lovely and they were just jealous because she was well liked and got on with most people.
Well anyway, the managers decided to let all 3 of the people go. The poor girl did absolutely nothing wrong, but they justified letting her go because 'she was involved'. Her involvement was literally just being slagged off without her even knowing. So that must be the silliest reason I know. She was fired because she was gossiped about by two dickheads
我曾經在一家公司工作，他們在夏天會雇傭大量臨時工。有一天，一位經理發現兩名員工一直在使用內部消息系統對一名臨時工說三道四。差不多有上百條信息在詆毀那個女孩。我和那個女孩不熟，但我記得她很可愛，他們就是嫉妒，因為她很受歡迎，和大多數人都相處得很好。
無論如何，經理們決定讓3個人一起離開。那個可憐的女孩絕對沒有做錯什么，但他們有理由讓她離開，因為“她參與了”。就因為在不知情的情況下被詆毀也算她參與了。這是我知道的最愚蠢的原因。因為她被兩個白癡說了閑話而被解雇了。
What an absolutely moronic decision, especially if she was as nice and well liked as you said.
多么愚蠢的決定，尤其是如果她像你說的那么好、那么受歡迎。
Yeah it was so stupid and I felt awful for her.
The managers never really had much to do with the temp workers and kind of treat them like shit, so it was just massively unfair.
是的，這太愚蠢了，我為她感到難過。
經理們從來不在乎臨時工，對待他們就像對待垃圾一樣，所以這非常不公平。
原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.mmg13444.com 轉載請注明出處
Reflects on the decision making skills of the firing manager, but more widely the attitude of the company towards the temps: quicker and simpler to replace all the cogs involved in a negative incident than separate the good from the bad.
反映了經理解雇人的決策技巧，但更反映了公司對臨時工的態度：更換負面事件中涉及的所有因素，比區分好壞更快、更簡單。
I would have gone public with that. Women in the workplace really do get it worse. It's like the old Greek story of Medusa, raped in a temple by a God, totally a victim couldn't fight back, but got punished by banishment to live life completely alone as a hideous monster! Never has a story rung so true that we don't learn from history.
I hope she moved on to something much better and the 2 idiots got nothing. We should all be much better to eachother.
是我的話就把這件事爆出來。職場女性的情況確實更差。就像古希臘故事中的美杜莎，被神在神廟里強奸，受害者完全無法反抗，卻被放逐，作為可怕的怪物孤獨的生活著！從來沒有一個故事如此真實，我們都沒從歷史中吸取教訓。
我希望她能換個更好的地方，而那兩個白癡什么都得不到。我們應該對彼此更好一些。
That is mental. I choose not to believe this is true because of the injustice.
這太瘋狂了。我認為這不是真的，因為不公平。
Oh it definitely happened. The managers were cunts and treat most of the temp workers like crap.
它確實發生了。經理們都是王八蛋，對待大多數臨時工像垃圾一樣
IT guy at my place was known for being a hero worker for attending server outages, even in the middle of the night. Got well compensated by call-out, overtime and time-in-lieu, but even so he was seen as the company 'go-to' guy.
Until his manager discovered a hidden time switch on the server power supply set to turn the power off and then on again a few minutes later.
Wasn't fired for that as they couldn't strictly prove that he fitted it. He was however fired for claiming overtime for attending site when he never got to site and in all probability he just waited for the fault call, contacted user to see if it was up and running again and then went back to sleep
我們公司有個IT員工，是著名的模范員工，他專門處理服務器故障，哪怕是在半夜。因為隨叫隨到、加班和倒休而得到了很好的補償，即便如此，他還是被視為公司的“得力干將”。
直到他的經理發現服務器電源上有一個隱藏的定時開關，可以關閉電源，幾分鐘后再次打開。
他沒有因此被解雇，因為無法確切證明是他做的。然而，他后來還是被解雇了，因為他要加班，但他從來沒有到現場，很有可能他只是等待故障電話，聯系用戶查看服務器是否啟動運行，然后回去睡覺。
That is evil genius level of anti work
這是偷懶的邪惡天才
Oh we all admired his ingenuity.
Right up until losing his job because he got lazy implementing it.
我們都佩服他的聰明才智。
直到他因為懶得執行而丟了工作。
I once got fired from a job when I suggested we shouldn’t rip off a customer
有一次，我建議我們不應該坑騙顧客而被解雇。
Using the national insurance number database (you can search by name/DOB) to look up the addresses of celebrities. They got frogmarched out very quickly.
使用國家保險號碼數據庫查找名人地址。他們很快就被趕走了。
I’ve heard of people getting fired from banks for looking up celebrity accounts. A lot of companies have checks in place so that if anyone unexpected looks up that data it’s flagged. Or, at the very least audit logged.
我聽說有人因為查名人賬戶而被銀行解雇。許多公司都有相應的核查，如果有人查看數據就會被標記?；蛘咧辽贂涗浵聛?。
Absolutely true, I worked in a big Scottish bank and know someone who was sacked for looking up a prominent footballers account.
A load of people also got sacked years before I started after they looked up the CEO’s account the day annual bonus was paid.
確實如此，我在蘇格蘭一家大銀行工作，我認識一個人，他因為查了一個著名球員的賬戶而被解雇。
在我去這家銀行之前幾年，也有很多人被解雇，因為他們在發年終獎的那天查了CEO的賬戶。
He had 3 grandmothers pass away within 12 months.
在12個月內，他有三位祖母去世。
That's not impossible with divorces, remarriage etc.
在離婚、再婚等情況下，這并非不可能。
Step grandmothers and foster grandmothers too
還有繼祖母和養祖母
I got sacked because the guy I was supposed to be working with found me intimidating due to my haircut (he was gay and I have a shaved head so thought I was some sort of homophobic neo-nazi) so he “couldn’t” work with me.
我被解雇，因為應該和我一起工作的家伙由于我的發型而覺得我很可怕(他是同性戀，而我是光頭，所以認為我是某種反同性戀的新納粹分子)，所以他“不能”和我一起工作。
I was sacked once for not wanting to by a raffle ticket at Christmas. It was for a good cause, but I didn’t want to enter on this occasion. Apparently that was rude, and didn’t really fit in with the culture they were trying to promote. I was in my probation period. And so I was let go.
Every prize was meat donated by a local butcher. I’m vegetarian.
我曾經因為不想要圣誕節抽獎券而被解雇。顯然，這很粗魯，也不符合他們試圖推廣的文化。我還在試用期，所以被解雇了。我這么做是有原因的，不想在這種場合參與進去。
所有獎品都是當地屠夫捐贈的肉。而我是素食主義者。
Where do I start? A guy got sacked for stopping what he was doing and checking the time. Another guy got sacked for moving his pushbike away from a fire escape when he realised someone had blocked that exit with his bike. Another guy got sacked for opening a box with his house key instead of a knife, which he didn’t have because they refused to provide him one.
These are three off the top of my head at my current employer. There are so many more. My employer is very petty.
從哪里開始說起呢？有人因為停止他手頭上的事看時間而被解雇。另一個人因為意識到有自行車堵住了消防通道，他把自行車移開而被解雇。還有一個人因為用鑰匙而不是刀子打開盒子而被解雇，他沒有刀子，因為他們拒絕給他。
這是在我雇主那里我能想到的頭三件事。還有很多。我的老板很吝嗇。
That key one is incredible (i mean they all are but that one, wow)! How did the conversation go?
"did you just open that box with your key?"
"Yes, i haven't been issued a knife"
"you're fired!"
鑰匙那個難以置信（當然都難以置信，但這個尤其如此）！談話是如何進行的？
“你剛才是用鑰匙打開那個盒子嗎？”
“是的，我沒有拿到刀”
“你被解雇了！”
That is literally how it went. But that guys doing alright for himself. I saw him the other day and he’s in the scrap business now. So instead of taking crap from a desk jockey, he’s taking crap people don’t want and turning it into cash.
事情真的就是這樣發展的。但那家伙過得還行。前幾天我見過他，他現在在做廢品生意。所以與其從辦公室工作里收獲廢話（垃圾），還不如收人們不想要的垃圾變成現金。
原創翻譯：龍騰網 http://www.mmg13444.com 轉載請注明出處
I was let go from a temp job that was evening/night shifts as my dog had died, called them saying I wouldn't make it in today, and was gone after a couple days as I had "taken too many days off".
因為我的狗死了，我的一份臨時夜班工作沒了。我打電話給他們說我今天不能去上班，幾天后我就被開除了，因為我“請假太多”。
That’s surely grounds for unfair dismissal?
這確實是不公平的解雇理由吧？
You basically have no employee protections unless you've been somewhere for 2 years. They can let you go for whatever BS reason as long as its not discrimination.
除非你在某個地方工作了兩年，否則基本沒什么員工保護。他們可以以任何傻逼理由讓你離開，只要不是歧視就行。
A guy I worked with didn’t believe Penistone was a real place and had a complete meltdown.
Flipped his desk over and stormed out shouting “Do you all think I’m stupid? There’s no such place as penis town!”
一個同事不相信機吧屯是個真實的地方，他完全崩潰了。
他掀翻桌子，怒氣沖沖地出去，大喊：“你們都當我是傻子？沒有機吧屯這樣的地方！”
Stormed out and drove home to Shitterton
他怒氣沖沖地出去，然后開車回到便便屯
Love this one, I live in sheffield and can confirm Penistown (Penistone) is in fact a real place
我喜歡這個，我住在謝菲爾德，我可以證實機吧屯是個真實的地方
I was sacked from being a removalist, and not paid for 2 weeks work because I couldn't move a ~700kg safe on my own from the cellar of this guys house to the loft.
我被一家搬家公司解雇，因為我自己一個人無法從地窖把一個大概700公斤重的保險箱搬到閣樓，兩周的工作也沒有拿到薪水。
You're pathetic. Can't move 700kg single handedly? No wonder you got potted.
你真可憐。一個人搬不動700公斤？難怪你被開除
Friend got caught living in the office for 3 months. All his clothes and toiletries were kept in the car. When everyone would leave at night, he would come back to the office and sleep/cook Netflix etc. He had the money to rent a flat but I think he enjoyed the thrill of "camping" as he called it...
我朋友在辦公室住了三個月被抓到。他所有的衣服和洗漱用品都放在車里。當晚上大家都離開后，他回到辦公室睡覺、做飯、逛Netflix等。他有錢租公寓，但我認為他喜歡他所謂的“露營”的快感。
Years ago I worked in an office and an 18 year old started and got sacked on his third day because all he had done was go on Bebo. He got sacked for using Bebo.
幾年前，我在一間辦公室工作，一個18歲的年輕人新來，第三天就被解雇了，因為他來就是為了上Bebo【英國社交網站】。他因為使用Bebo而被解雇。
We fired a temp because he spent an entire day browsing the internet. On a company computer. It was one day where there wasn't anyone in that part of the office so no-one spotted him doing it. I noticed because my weekly review of work in progress showed he had done fuck all.
He tried to deny it, and then got angry when I opened up the browser history.
我們解雇了一個臨時工，因為他整天用公司的電腦瀏覽互聯網。有一天，辦公室里沒人，所以沒人發現他的事情。我注意到了，因為我的每周工作回顧顯示了他的所作所為。
他試圖否認，當我打開瀏覽器的歷史記錄時他還很生氣。
I was sacked once for daring to ask if I could move from apprentice wages to full time wages. I worked a stop start machine 8 hours a day and learned literally nothing while working there, so it was an apprenticeship in name only.
我曾經因為大膽問我能不能從學徒工資轉到全職工資而被解雇。我每天就在開、關機器上工作8個小時，但在那里我真的什么也學不到，所以這學徒制只是名義上的。
Sacked for busting the nose of the restaurant manager.
Us waiting staff had a habit of using our feet to open the doors in and out of the kitchen as our hands were usually full, I was returned some plates and shoved the door with my foot as per usual and heard a crunch quickly followed by a scream and saw the manager holding his nose.
He started screaming at me that I had done it deliberately and I was sacked without pay and to get off the premises. Head chef walked over, called him a stupid twat and it served him right for standing there and re-hired me. (Head chef was a part owner)
因為撞了餐廳經理的鼻子而被解雇了。
我們服務員習慣用腳打開進出廚房的門，因為我們的手上通常都是滿的。我送一些盤子回去，像往常一樣用腳推門，緊接著聽到一聲痛叫，看到經理捂著鼻子。
他開始對著我大喊，說我是故意的，沒給我工資就把我解雇了。主廚走過來說他是個蠢貨，站在那里是自找的，然后重新雇用了我(主廚是股東之一)。
My sister had a similar one from when she waited at the Hilton. They had a rack for dishes and you could eat leftovers. Some family had ordered food ahead and the food was prepared for their arrival. The shift manager left the food on the leftovers rack with instructions not to eat it. Some poor guy came in after, never having got the message, and thought he'd hit the jackpot and ate it.
The manager just about hit the roof. The guy got off light though as he was told to go home for the remainder of the shift. He was able to come back though.
我姐妹在希爾頓當服務員時也有過類似的事情。他們有一個放盤子的架子，你可以吃上面的剩菜。一些家庭提前訂了菜，菜準備好了就等他們來。值班經理把菜放在剩菜架上，并指示不要吃。后來有個可憐的家伙進來，他沒有收到消息，以為自己中了大獎然后就吃掉了。
經理氣得冒火。不過他沒受什么處罰，讓下班后就回家，他還是能回來。
A colleague was sacked from his previous job after a formal warning for using "sexual language" about a female colleague.
He'd said she looked knackered.
一個男同事因對女同事使用“性語言”而被正式警告，隨后被解雇。
他說她看起來很虛。
They got given a laptop to work from home during lockdown and when they came back into the office got asked to give it back. They'd sold it on Facebook marketplace when they heard they'd be coming back in.
在封鎖期間，他們得到一臺筆記本電腦回家工作，當他們回辦公室上班時被要求歸還電腦。然而在他們聽說準備回去上班時，他們就在Facebook市場上把電腦賣掉了。
Im in the building trade and my old boss used to have a strict no phone policy, I was working outside taking down a chimney and was having a drag of my e-cig, this was when e-cigs first came out and my boss screamed at me to put my phone away. I was confused and tried to calmly explain that I was having a drag of my e-cig and not on my phone, he began screaming at me calling me a liar and was adamant i was on my phone, anyway i lost my shit and we ended up full on fighting in the customers back garden, I got sacked.
Everyone else on the job (decorators, electricians ect) all told the boss he was massively over reacting, he ended up sacking a plumber aswell because he stuck up for me.
Worst part is this is one of my dads best mates and I stilll see him regularly, hes still adamant I was on my phone even now 11 years later!
We actually get on really well now and I now own my own building company, I subcontract some of my work to him but I always give him the shit jobs that i dont want to do myself
我在建筑業，我的前老板曾經發布過嚴格的禁止打電話政策，我在外面工作，拆除煙囪，吸著我的電子煙，那時是電子煙剛出來的時候，我老板對我大喊，還把我手機拿走。我很困惑，試圖平靜地向他解釋，我說我在吸電子煙而不是在打電話，他開始對我大喊，說我是個騙子，固執的說我是在打電話。無論如何，我失去了我的東西，最后我們在客戶的后花園里打了一架，我被解雇了。
工作中的其他人（裝修工、電工等）都跟老板說他反應過度了，最后他還解雇了一個水管工，因為他支持我。
最糟糕的地方是，他是我爸爸最好的朋友之一，我仍然經常見到他，他仍然堅持我是在打電話，即使是11年后的今天！
我們現在相處得很好，現在我也擁有了自己的建筑公司，我把我的一些工作分包給他，但我總是把我自己不想做的糟糕工作交給他。
I worked at a supermarket and the food going out of date that day would get reduced (10% at the start of the day, 50% around lunchtime and 75% off/down to 9p (whatever’s lower) early evening). Depending on the amount getting written off, you’d need a different member of staff to sign in to the label machine (anyone could do 10%, supervisor/assistant manager for 50% and manager or above for 75%). I mainly worked evenings so quite often was in charge of the 75% write off, which I loved doing because people would literally go wild for the reductions and start pushing people out the way to get some reduced ham. It made me feel quite powerful and was a great laugh.
Anyway, a new guy started and seemed quite taken by the evening reduction. He did it a few nights I wasn’t working and then when I was working he would try to take it off me. A few months in, it all became clear why he liked doing it so much - and it wasn’t because he liked the clamour of the customers for cheap yogurts, like it was for me.
He was going around picking full price things he fancied for himself, reducing them to 9p, hiding them at the back of the shelves, then buying them on his breaks. The guy was going around reducing whole chickens to 9p and nabbing them for his dinner! Needless to say he eventually got caught.
我在一家超市工作，食物過期那天會打折（早上時10%，午餐時間前后50%，傍晚時候75%，最后降到9便士）。根據注銷金額的不同，需要另一名員工錄入標簽機（所有人都有權降10%，主管、助理經理50%，經理或以上75%）。我主要是在晚上工作，所以經常負責75%的折扣，我喜歡這種事，因為人們真的會為折扣而瘋狂，會把別人推開買一些折扣火腿。這讓我覺得自己很有力量，非常開心。
一個新人來了，似乎對晚上的折扣很感興趣。他在我休息的幾天晚上工作，然后當我工作時，他會試著從我那里接手。幾個月后，他這么喜歡做這個的原因清楚了——并不是因為他像我一樣喜歡顧客對廉價酸奶的叫嚷。
他四處挑選自己喜歡的全價商品，把價格降到9便士，藏在貨架后面，然后在他休息時買下來。那家伙四處轉悠，把整只雞降到9便士，然后拿來當晚餐！不用說，他最后被抓住了。
2 dental nurses, around 3 weeks apart, go fired for dishonesty by HR.
Both at separate times called into work saying they had covid symptoms so had to stay at home/ return home and get officially tested , letting the manager know asap when you get a result.
Both girls delayed telling management they tested negative for 1-2 days and were caught when they had to show their confirmation email/ test from the testing center. We worked front line as an emergency hub during lockdown (UK) and business is struggling keeping everyone employed/ not over worked but these girls (one in particular) were particularly lazy and rarely helped unless they were forced to.
2名牙科護士，時間間隔約3周，因不誠實被人資解雇。
兩人在不同的時間被叫去上班，她們說自己出現了新冠癥狀，所以不得不呆在家里、回家接受正式檢測，當得到結果時會盡快通知經理。
兩個女孩都延遲了1-2天告訴管理層他們的檢測是陰性，當她們不得不出示檢測結果時終于被發現了。
在封鎖期間（英國），我們在前線工作作為應急中心，企業努力讓每個人都有工作且不過度工作，但這些女孩太過懶惰，從不幫忙除非是被迫的。
I worked at a company that recovered fancy broken down cars. Part of the software kit was a tool that let you put it someone's phone number and it would tell you where that phone was to within 10 meters. Very handy for when people are broken down in the middle of nowhere.
A new hire used it to check if his girlfriend was really at home sick....on his first day. Right after the training session where they tell you the use of said tool is only for dire situations, and that every single use of it is recorded and audited, needing to be justified.
Pretty fucking silly move. He was fired at the end of the week when the manager was auditing.
我在一家修理汽車的公司工作。軟件套裝有一個功能，可以讓你輸入某人的電話號碼，它會告訴你電話的位置。當人們在偏僻的地方拋錨的時候，這個功能非常方便。
一個新員工用它來檢查他的女朋友是不是真的生病在家……在他工作的第一天。培訓課程結束后，他們會說這個功能只能在緊急的情況下使用，并且每次使用都會被記錄和審核，要證明使用的合理性。
他的舉動相當愚蠢。周末經理核查時，他被解雇了。